Society

A 34-YEAR-OLD man is outraged that his mother has not bought him an advent calendar for the first year ever.

FOR the first time in recorded history, the excuse of not having received a text message has proved to be genuine.

PRIMARY school teachers have settled old scores by making the annoying ones be innkeepers.

BRITAIN is eagerly waiting for whatever the fuck it bought yesterday to arrive. 

A 23-YEAR-OLD has finally become a man after having his first multi-day hangover.

A MAN will not ‘take any shit’ from people and organisations that do not appear to bear him any ill will, it has emerged.

POLICE are searching for whoever puts things like half a sausage back into the fridge.

A MAN who walked into HMV instantly felt like he was transported back to a simpler time, it has emerged.

AN annoying twat in an office has asked if the blinds can be closed because he cannot see his screen.

SCOUTS are at supermarket tills asking for a charity donation to crush your groceries.