Society

A FLASHY couple are expecting twins just to go one better than their friends with only one baby.

A TRAIN operator cannot believe the fucking nerve of a passenger who is demanding a refund because his train was 90 minutes late.

A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.

A TIRESOME friend wants you to take two seconds to help yet another persecuted group of people and or animals.

A COUPLE planning to 'go up the Shard' later are probably talking about a sex thing, it has been claimed.

A MAN has had the unoriginal idea of making life in prison harsher in ways that would undoubtedly just cause more problems.

A MAN has given his girlfriend an Easter egg after getting his dates mixed up.

EVERYONE who plans to go out is secretly hoping that their friends all drop out, it has been revealed.

A MAN who asks people to correct him if he was wrong does not in fact wish to be corrected, it has emerged.

THERE are currently only three left-wing Londoners, it has been confirmed.