Society

ONLY two things this year could properly be classed as ‘good’, it has been confirmed.

EXPERTS have confirmed that waiting until after the Queen’s Speech to open presents is total bullshit.

A MAN has unwittingly laid the groundwork for a disastrous Christmas lunch by forgetting to say that his girlfriend is vegan.

SOME bollocks about bin collections, it has been confirmed.

A GROUP of teenagers has managed to turn a 25-minute rail journey into a tiresome drama starring themselves, it has emerged.

A FATHER-OF-TWO is psyching himself up to assist with the cooking on Christmas Day.

A MAN has explained to family and friends that he does not want a lot for Christmas, and leaving the EU is all he needs.

A MAN has spent several hundred pounds on weird food that he would never consider buying during the rest of the year.

BRITAIN’S relatives are preparing a range of strange and annoying behaviours for their Christmas visits, they have revealed.

A WOMAN hopes her Facebook post about how populism is bad gets loads of likes.