Society

A MAN has a white Range Rover, it has been confirmed.

A MASSIVE arsehole you used to work with is now quite senior at another company.

A CHRISTMAS tree fairy would rather not have a needle-covered branch right up her skirt, it has emerged.

ARE train drivers right to strike, or are they just in a mood?

A FATHER Christmas in Preston has informed children that they are getting ‘sod all’ because they have been ‘bad little buggers’. 

A MAN will not stop telling people about his plans to do un-Christmassy things over Christmas.

PARENTS feel they must prove their concern for their children’s futures by talking about it endlessly, it has emerged.

A COUNTRY which has not the faintest idea where it is going is this week focusing on trousers and handbags owned by politicians.

AN EX-COUPLE feel blessed to still have an incredible pretend friendship.

BRITONS are delivering Christmas cards with maximum stealth to avoid interacting with relatives and neighbours.