Society

A CHILD spent so long fucking about putting on his shoes that his parents aged by seven years, it has emerged.

A BORED mum is under a month away from becoming pen pals with some guy on Death Row, it has emerged.

GOVERNMENT plans for more rented housing have been welcomed by renters who like paying other people's mortgages.

THE nonchalant, arrogant staff at a hipster bar hate themselves just as much as they hate you, they have admitted.

YOUR mother is determined that you will not remain neutral in the row she is having with your sister, she has confirmed.

A MAN believes it was the right decision to take the largest suitcase he could find onto a crowded train.

A 54-YEAR-OLD man has delighted the internet with a photo of his huge stomach.

A CAT has rejected claims that he gets fed in more than one household.

A MAN has a strange desire to downplay homelessness whenever it is mentioned, it has emerged.

COLLEAGUES in a WhatsApp group have begun to hate one another with a burning passion.