Society

BRITAIN’S fathers have begun training for the absurdly competitive Christmas Day game of Trivial Pursuit.

MIDDLE class children are asking for large, brightly coloured plastic toys for Christmas that will ruin their parent’s tasteful lifestyle.

A WOMAN who broke up with her boyfriend has been left heartbroken by the loss of his Netflix account.

A COUPLE are planning to spend tonight investigating whether it is possible to get seriously drunk on Baileys alone.

OFFICE workers across Britain have confirmed that absolutely nothing of consequence will be done next week.

A MAN has instantly regretted taking an Ecstasy pill at his work Christmas party, it has emerged.

BREXITERS believe the weird local grievances that made them vote Leave will be addressed in the government’s plans.

AWKWARDNESS has descended on an office after a man bought an expensive Christmas gift for a female colleague, it has emerged.

MOTHERS have demanded to know what time you are coming around on Christmas Day, to the nearest four minutes.

A MAN has been left furious after imagining a confrontation he might have if a hotel room was disappointing.