Society

MILLIONS of perfectly normal Britons firmly believe they have some sort of ‘victim’ status, it has emerged.

A WEALTHY family leave their shit lying all around the pub whenever they visit.

FOUR out of five people would completely fail to heed the lesson in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, experts have confirmed.  

A TEENAGER has bought her 44-year-old aunt a CD of ‘wartime favourites’, it has emerged.

ABSOLUTELY no one is enjoying being in the pub today more than a local dog, it has emerged.

PEOPLE who sit in a ticketed seat on a busy train are rebellious heroes like Han Solo, it has been confirmed.

A MAN accidentally said 'she'd get it' while watching a television advert with his mother, it has been confirmed.

BRITISH Christmas trees have said they cannot face being in living rooms after such a hellish year.

YOUR life is already in serious trouble if you have a National Lottery account regardless of whether it gets hacked, experts believe.

A CAFE has started playing Fairport Convention to encourage trendy young professionals to go away.