Society

A WOMAN has decided against having children because it is loads of hassle.

THE numbers of incredibly irritating people who are prepared to be 'chuggers' is dangerously low, charities have warned.

TEENAGE bastards playing music on a bus are fully aware that it is annoying everyone else, it has emerged.

A FATHER did not say a word during a 10-hour family visit until telling his daughter to use the M69.

A COUPLE who thought giving each other massages would be ‘sexy’ have been left traumatised by the experience.

A MAN has invited his next-door neighbours to a party he is holding tomorrow night on condition that they do not attend.

A DAYDREAMING office worker has been caught mouthing ‘They’ll see, oh yes they’ll all see’ to herself.

A FLASHY couple are expecting twins just to go one better than their friends with only one baby.

A TRAIN operator cannot believe the fucking nerve of a passenger who is demanding a refund because his train was 90 minutes late.

A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.