Society

A NEWLY adopted dog is realising he has been brought in to prevent a break-up.

A PAIR of deranged maniacs are going to take their children to a music festival while their friends stand back and let them.

FIRST-TIME parents have expressed their gratitude for the deluge of completely incompatible, hysterical advice.

A WOMAN who keeps voting for Conservative governments cannot understand why her local services are terrible.

A WOMAN has decided against having children because it is loads of hassle.

THE numbers of incredibly irritating people who are prepared to be 'chuggers' is dangerously low, charities have warned.

TEENAGE bastards playing music on a bus are fully aware that it is annoying everyone else, it has emerged.

A FATHER did not say a word during a 10-hour family visit until telling his daughter to use the M69.

A COUPLE who thought giving each other massages would be ‘sexy’ have been left traumatised by the experience.

A MAN has invited his next-door neighbours to a party he is holding tomorrow night on condition that they do not attend.