Society

THE ‘liberal elite’ consists of anyone who has read a book out of choice, it has been confirmed.

A MAN gets a weird self-righteous buzz from talking about how screwed everything is.

A WOMAN enjoys shaking her cat’s food box to make it run into the house and then not feeding it.

ASKING someone washing their car to ‘do yours next’ is now illegal.

A CAFE that serves cheap food to hungover hipsters can’t figure out if it is incredibly cool or just convenient.

AN OUTWARDLY normal couple are into board games about farming and diseases.

WOMEN do not need to be constantly reminded that ‘real women’ exist who are not fashion models, it has emerged.

AN INVESTIGATION has been launched into who put a 12-minute Sonic Youth song onto a party playlist.

MIDDLE class landlords are raising rents in apologetic ways designed to suggest it is not their fault, it has emerged.

SMALL provincial towns provide just as many opportunities to have a fight as cities, it has been claimed.