Society

THE parents of a 16-year-old who failed his GCSEs are overjoyed with the reward money they have saved.

A MAN keeps mentioning his children in a way that is clearly meant to make people respect him, it has emerged.

BRITONS are hoping the UK will suffer social and economic chaos if it supports their views on Brexit, they have revealed.

BRITAIN’S girlfriends have confirmed that nothing is wrong, but in a slightly offhand way which suggests that this may not be the case.

A MAN who is holding a barbecue on Saturday is going ahead with it no matter what, he has confirmed.

A SAD hipster is desperate to know when he can go back to being normal.

A SURVEY to find the world’s friendliest city has been told in no uncertain terms that it is London, unless the researchers have a problem with that.

A STUDENT is celebrating getting the first ‘A with a shitload of stars’ grade at A Level.

A WOMAN is annoyed after sending all her friends a helpful link to erection pills and not getting any response.

PLANS to tackle childhood obesity have been scaled back because the money has been spent on winning Olympic cycling medals