Society

SNIFFER dogs drafted in to tackle the Channel Tunnel migrant chaos are worried they are being ‘stitched up’ by David Cameron.

REVENUE & Customs has warned that all summer romances must begin by midnight.

COMMUTING from the Sea of Tranquility is now cheaper than renting a studio flat in Camden.

BOLLOCKINGLAND in Kent is the first theme park just for angry parents who want to publicly tell off their children.

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has expressed dismay at discovering she is a ‘real woman’ like in television adverts.

PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.

A GROUP of 20 European teenagers with backpacks is currently being given a guided tour of your home.

YOUR grandfather has phoned up to get help deleting his profile from hacked sex contacts site Ashley Madison.

NEIGHBOURS of a man in Stevenage have confirmed that Roy Hobbs has completed 10 years of hammering the absolute shit out of something in his house.

MILLIONS of older men have been nodding vigorously at the Lord Sewel sex and drugs scandal.