Society

AN office worker has a nauseating, child-like phone voice that he uses when speaking to his girlfriend.

KITCHENS in expensive restaurants are staffed by dangerous men, it has emerged.

MORE than 30 per cent of the country is off-limits because of fireworks that did not go off.

ALL small firms must be run by total maniacs heading for a coronary, according to a new EU ruling.

A WINTER coat has given its owner the unfounded sense of a new beginning.

THE devil has given up after admitting that the Debenhams Christmas advert is more evil than anything he could have conceived.

THE enormous poppy pinned to a woman's lapel was obviously designed to go on a vehicle.

EXPERTLY carving a Halloween pumpkin is the new way to demonstrate your virility, men have confirmed.

THE parents of 25-year-old Nathan Muir are celebrating their son’s decision to abandon his band for a job in a bank.

43-YEAR-OLD Tom Booker’s cleaning regime is repeatedly applying to a TV series where strangers come and sort it out.