Society

THE forthcoming all-night London Underground services will be even scarier than night buses, it has been confirmed.

SINGLETON Tom Booker has filled in his online dating profile with information about his professional skills and employment history.

OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.

THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.

A FALL in unemployment may be connected to Iain Duncan Smith’s new pie shop in central London.

CATS have asked for a change in policy so they can be owned by people who are not weird.

A MAN has revealed he has no idea if his usual Big Issue seller was being sarcastic with him.

BOORISH lads and militant feminists have joined forces to make sexism at university a far bigger issue than it actually is.

CHARLIE Bucket's Grandpa Joe has been charged with fraudulent benefit claims dating back more than two decades.

THE whole of Monday is to feel deceptively like a Wednesday, forecasters have warned.