Society

Middle classes ask if they can stop shopping at Aldi now

THE middle class shoppers who switched to budget supermarkets have wondered if they can switch back soon.

Woman’s hair has too much attitude

A 25-YEAR-OLD woman’s punk-influenced hair has been verbally abusing her family.

Single people forced to join families

UNMARRIED people are to be forced into strangers' family homes as long-lost aunts or uncles, the government has announced.

Rail fares to increase by two inflations and a pay rise

RAIL fares will increase by inflation times two, plus the pathetic little pay rise you are probably not going to get anyway.

20,000 students to study something they’ve never heard of

A RECORD number of students are to study subjects they just found out existed.

Britons descend on Riyadh with average cars

HUNDREDS of Britons have made the annual trip to Saudi Arabia to show off their average cars.

Everyone thinks their baby or kitten could be a model

ALL owners of babies or kittens are convinced they would be perfect for lucrative advertising work.

People with trust funds think it’s normal

TRUST fund recipients think it is normal to have large amounts of free money.

Man not like other men in lapdancing club

31-YEAR-OLD strip club visitor Wayne Hayes has condemned the other men there as perverts.

Plymouth ‘most expendable part of UK’

IT would not be a big a deal if Plymouth was destroyed in a nuclear explosion, according to the government.