Society

MINIMUM wage earners have blasted their pay rise of 19p an hour as inadequate recompense for losing their multi-million pound bonuses.

LONDON tube drivers have admitted that the game may be up.

COUNCILS have started plunging unemployed people in rivers to see if they float, it has been confirmed.

EVERYONE who has ever been thrown out of a nightclub has confirmed it was not their fault.

GROWN-UPS should stop expecting to be treated as if they are special once a year, it has been claimed.

PROFESSIONAL careers advisors have admitted that their job is awful so they should probably shut up.

A TAX on kestrels belonging to underprivileged young boys is vital to Britain’s economic recovery, according to the prime minister.

LENT is bollocks, it has been confirmed.

AN ARGUMENT on the internet has been resolved to the satisfaction of both parties.

HAVING the children taken away for a bit is more important than having a house, according to parents.