Society

POOR children are being given the three key middle class things as part of a government bid to improve them.

THE devil has announced a reduction in the fee paid for human souls.

PEOPLE in damaging relationships will stay together to get a third off rail travel, it has been claimed.

BORIS Johnson has unveiled his newest idea that could not possibly go wrong.

MOLESKINE notebooks are perfect for creative projects that will never be completed, according to aspiring writers.

ANY person with a job is to be given a gold object and lots of attention, it has emerged.

EVERY chocolate bar invented since the Wispa has been either uninspired or disgusting, it has emerged.

A NEW smartphone app combines geolocation and the paranormal to show all the ghosts in your vicinity.

KIDS are dreadful regardless of whether they have had sugar, it has emerged.

BRITAIN'S homeless people are to be eaten by imported carnivores, it has emerged.