Society
'I will show mercy when we seize power', UKIP members tell workmates
UKIP members have told their workmates that their lives will probably be spared come the day of ultimate victory.
Take the jobseekers’ psychometric test
THE DWP's psychometric test uses advanced science to work out why you've utterly failed as a human.
Steampunk weapons useless against fists
PRETEND ‘Steampunk’ weapons are less effective than fists, a fight has revealed.
Fury as allotment gardeners discover vegetables can be bought in shops
PEOPLE with allotments are reeling from the news that vegetables can be bought with cash.
Grandchildren threaten to withdraw their love
GRANCHILDREN have threatened to withhold their affection if elderly benefits are handed back to Iain Duncan Smith.
'Drinksitting' to become a legitimate weekend activity
SITTING in front of the television getting arseholed is to be considered a legitimate weekend pursuit from now on.
Britain's potholes now a tourist attraction
THE impressive holes in Britain's road have become a draw for foreign tourists.
UK violence falls below acceptable levels
BRITAIN is in danger of going soft, experts have warned.