Society

Grandchildren threaten to withdraw their love

GRANCHILDREN have threatened to withhold their affection if elderly benefits are handed back to Iain Duncan Smith.

'Drinksitting' to become a legitimate weekend activity

SITTING in front of the television getting arseholed is to be considered a legitimate weekend pursuit from now on. 

Britain's potholes now a tourist attraction

THE impressive holes in Britain's road have become a draw for foreign tourists.

UK violence falls below acceptable levels

BRITAIN is in danger of going soft, experts have warned.

'Stacked bungalows' to solve housing shortage

MORE one-bedroom houses are to be built, in the form of stacked bungalows.

Hair malnourishment reaching crisis levels

ONE in three people are going without basic pro-Fructinol F5 nutrients for their hair, say researchers.

Crack Day ‘less chilled’ than Weed Day

NATIONAL Crack Day was a less relaxing experience than National Weed Day, it has been claimed.

Broken dreamcatcher floods Swindon with unresolved anxieties

AN overloaded dreamcatcher has released a torrent of nagging anxieties and unsettling erotic scenarios.

Hot tub owners pretending it's not a nasty sex pond

MOST hot tub owners are putting up a thin veneer of respectability.

UK 'already has drug consumption cubicles'

BRITAIN doesn't need any more drug consumption rooms, it has been claimed.