Society

THE disability benefits system will be replaced by medals for things like shutting up and getting on with it, it has emerged.

PUPILS protesting GCSE results have been asked to consider whether they might get better exam results if they learn more things.

POT smokers generally have more brain cells than people who like lager, it has been claimed.

AN ESSEX man had admitted the 'lion' he saw near his home was actually a design on the wrapper of a chocolate bar.

A BOOK advising married women to have affairs has sparked renewed interest in really bad advice.

LONDON Underground is to introduce special carriages where racists can share their hatred on the way to work.

PARENTS want their children to be force fed the classics of English literature until it makes them seriously ill, a survey has shown.

PRINCE Philip has discharged himself from hospital so he can be the latest person to say something hellish about rape.

BRITAIN'S biggest Catholic has confirmed he will no longer use any of the letters in the word 'gay'.

THIS year’s crop of young, predominantly female, students pictured celebrating their A Levels is up to 20% less attractive than last year's, it has been claimed.