Society

PRINCE Charles should try blocking legislation, just to see what happens, it was claimed last night.

IMPLACABLE serial killer Michael Myers has announced plans to spend Halloween relaxing with friends instead of doing his usual murders.

BRITONS are sort of assuming they'll be able to busk it through years of declining health, it has emerged.

A GROUP of anti-Church of England protestors has taken up residence in the London Stock Exchange, it has emerged.

THE government is to continue its successful policy of banning drugs with 'legal highs' joining other obsolete substances like heroin and ecstasy.

FOOTAGE from a thermal imaging camera has proved that capitalism is not actually working.

EARTH'S spiraling human population will soon make it impossible to get even five minutes' peace, it has been claimed.

THE design of the new £50 note will replace the first governor of the Bank of England with Pippa Middleton’s buttocks, it has been announced.

WITH half term looming, Britain's parents are steeling themselves for day trips that will inevitably end with at least one child weeping uncontrollably.

THOUSANDS of young women wearing large-framed glasses are not actually repressed nymphomaniacs, it has been revealed.