Politics

THE government has suggested that the border between Ireland and Northern Ireland could be one of those beaded curtains popular in the 1970s. 

LABOUR’S Brexit strategy is to stay in the EU but in a really grudging way and moan all the time, the party has announced.

JEREMY Corbyn is hunkered down near the White Cliffs of Dover ready to send a signal to the secretly reunified country of Czechoslovakia to invade the United Kingdom.

JACOB Rees-Mogg has been warned that if he tells another lie he will turn back into a little wooden puppet.

THERESA May will today give a keynote speech outlining what she would do about something if she was the prime minister of Britain.

BORIS Johnson will use his Brexit speech today to introduce Little Boris, a puppet on his right hand that foolishly supports Remain. 

A REGIONAL breakdown of Brexit’s impact has shown that Brexit only really happens to you if you voted for it. 

JACOB Rees-Mogg has admitted to being alarmed and quite turned on by the thought of EU punishment.

THE EU has confirmed that it would be delighted to deal with the Brexit 'Dream Team' of Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

BREXIT voters have asked what a 'customs union' is after discovering the term this morning.