Politics

JEREMY Corbyn has made a private call to Downing Street to ask what the fuck a mugwump is and if he is meant to be offended.

LIBERAL Democrat leader Tim Farron has stated that ‘the gays’, whether ‘boy gays’ or the rarer ‘girl gays’, are just fine with him.

A WOMAN who mostly ignores politics thinks Theresa May is a wonderful person doing her best in difficult circumstances.

UKIP has unveiled its manifesto with a pledge to ban the snood, hot curry and ‘untrustworthy’ foreign cheese.

BRITONS will elect a Conservative government because they believe they are bad and deserve to suffer, polls have confirmed.

THERESA May has accidentally contradicted her ‘strong, stable, leadership’ electoral message in a live interview.

A GROWN man is in a huff because no political party exactly matches his views, it has emerged.

THE Lib Dems are refusing to rule out a coalition with any British political party that will have them, they have confirmed.

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn has told Theresa May that if she strikes him down, then it is she who will truly have lost.

LABOUR MPs are to spend the next seven weeks updating their CVs and talking to recruitment agencies.