Politics

THE Conservative party is founded on lonely nights at school discos, it has emerged.

GOOGLE’S tax deal was rushed through after the company threatened to leak George Osborne’s disturbing internet history, it has emerged.

JEREMY Corbyn's cat is under threat of deportation for only answering to ‘El Gato’.

DAVID Cameron is trying to find a band he can listen to, safe in the knowledge that the musicians do not hate his guts.

DAVID Cameron has penciled in next Wednesday to visit an as-yet-unknown community which has been devastated because of spending cuts.

THE shadow minister for Resigning To Make A Political Point has offered her resignation to Jeremy Corbyn.

THE ‘assassination’ attempt on Nigel Farage may be the work of a serial killer with a grudge against bellends, police believe.

JEREMY Corbyn’s special Christmas meal will be his staple thin soup but with the addition of some potato.

GEORGE Osborne slept soundly last night, despite being visited by three ghosts warning him to repent.

THE RED box which Margaret Thatcher's immortal demonic soul was tricked into entering has sold at auction for £242,500.