Politics

NIGEL Farage has faced Bob Geldof in a pitched battle on the Thames, just like the fortune-teller said.

RUPERT Murdoch has called a press conference at Downing Street where he will order a vote for Brexit.

PRO-EU campaigners have unveiled a new slate of wildly unpopular politicians in a bid to boost the Remain vote.

THE bullshit thing nobody took seriously is probably going to occur, it has been claimed.

NIGEL Farage has been laughing maniacally in front of an enormous fire for the last 18 hours.

BORIS Johnson looks like the prime minister Britain will have when it is a shattered wasteland of vagrants fleeing war, commentators believe.

A MAN who missed the deadline to register for the EU referendum last night is secretly relieved that it is no longer his problem.

DANGEROUSLY unhinged Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has paranoid fantasies that the media is against him, a documentary about the knobhead will show.

BRITONS will do whatever a Wetherspoon beer mat tells them to do, it has emerged.

BORIS Johnson has baffled scientists by cycling every day but never looking any different.