Politics

THE health secretary has wept for all the patients left to suffer ingrowing toenails by the selfishness of junior doctors. 

THE Conservative Party is continuing to pretend Brexit has not left it completely and utterly fucked.

BREXIT campaigners are puzzled as to why the movement is attracting so many lunatic conspiracy theorists.

A EUROSCEPTIC has claimed that, like Michael Gove, he has seen strong friendships crumble because of his refusal to accept the diktats of Brussels. 

MICHAEL Fallon broke out in a cold sweat earlier after realising Jeremy Corbyn’s name had not passed his lips for almost three hours.

THE mother of Jeremy Hunt remains proud of him, no matter what anyone says.

THE Conservative party is founded on lonely nights at school discos, it has emerged.

GOOGLE’S tax deal was rushed through after the company threatened to leak George Osborne’s disturbing internet history, it has emerged.

JEREMY Corbyn's cat is under threat of deportation for only answering to ‘El Gato’.

DAVID Cameron is trying to find a band he can listen to, safe in the knowledge that the musicians do not hate his guts.