Sport Headlines

Playing cricket in England for five days ‘practical joke that went too far’

THE idea of holding a five-day cricket match in England was initially conceived as a prank, it has emerged.

People who don’t like cricket are wrong, say experts

CRICKET is brilliant and if you disagree you are less than a buffoon, according to experts.

Cricket fans ready to trash Waitrose if England win World Cup

CRICKET fans are threatening to rampage through Waitrose, Cath Kidston and SpaceNK wreaking havoc if England win today’s World Cup.

Is cricket the greatest sport ever or are you just watching it p*ssed?

CRICKET: it dates back to 1598, it goes on for days and despite most of the world having no interest England still never wins.

Woman experiencing unfamiliar sensation of pretending to be proud of team she's really p*ssed off with

A WOMAN is suffering the alien sensation of claiming to be very proud of a national team she is actually very, very angry with.

England women's success 'proof of positive discrimination'

THE England women’s team’s progression to the semi-final is proof that men are the real victims of sexism now, according to idiots.

Premier League fixtures let Man Utd fan know when he'll be angry

THE release of 2019-20’s Premier League fixtures means a Manchester United supporter can diarise when he will be a complete nightmare to be around.

Man expert in women's football after four days' dedicated study

A MALE football fan has read four day’s worth of coverage of the FIFA Women’s World Cup and is now an expert, he has confirmed.

Liverpool allowed to carry their points over to next season

PREMIER League chiefs have agreed that as Liverpool did so well but still did not win they can carry their points over to the following season.

Is Liverpool's comeback the most irritating of all time? 

LIVERPOOL’S comeback to beat Barcelona four-nil yesterday was intensely irritating for most of Britain. But was it the most irritating of all time?

A supporters' guide to enduring the London Marathon

BEHIND every runner in this weekend’s London Marathon are at least 15 people sick to death of hearing about it and willing it to be over.

Scotland now in danger of losing to fictional countries

THE Scottish national football team is now the underdog against a range of made-up countries.