Sport Headlines

Rugby players worried about teammate drinking piss alone

A GROUP of rugby players are worried about a teammate after seeing him drinking a glass of warm piss on his own.

Yep, this is as 'exciting' as golf gets, confirm fans

GOLF fans are insisting that the Ryder Cup is a tense, explosive contest that will have even the golf-averse on the edge of their seats.

Jose Mourinho's guide to being a miserable bastard

HOLA, this is the Special One, Jose Mourinho and I'm here to teach you how be a proper miserable sod.

Jose Mourinho increasingly resembles caretaker from Scooby-Doo

UNITED manager Jose Mourinho increasingly resembles the Scooby-Doo caretaker who has found gold on the premises, players have claimed.

Bloody cyclist going too fast again

A BLOODY cyclist has been going too bloody fast, it has been confirmed.

Badly-planned Tour de France route full of hills

SHOCKED Tour de France competitors have discovered that poor planning has led to a very mountainous route.

Give Belgium third place if they want it, England players agree

ENGLAND players have agreed that today’s third-place play-off should just be given to Belgium if they want it because it is no use to us.

Man who likes to point out that football originated in China told to shut up

A MAN who enjoys saying that strictly speaking football's 'home' is in China has been politely asked to shut the fuck up.