PUTTING your once-a-year bet on, for a bit of fun? Here are the horses dead-on guaranteed to make the bookies money:
A MAN who pretends to like football in order to impress other men has found his enjoyment of it unaffected by the ban on live crowds.
THE pandemic has left Rugby Union supporters with no option but to be unbearable twats in the safety of their own homes.
A FOOTBALL team that claims it is somehow more than that is full of crap, it has emerged.
THE Manchester United team who beat Southampton 9-0 yesterday are nothing but a bunch of nasty bullies, the Premier League has agreed.
AFTER slipping to fourth in the Premier League and being knocked out of the FA Cup, Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp has told his players to start trying.
THE Premier League is beset by issues like goals disallowed because two millimetres of a striker's soul has strayed offside. But it happened way before VAR – here's how:
AN Audi driver going at 95mph in the outside lane of the M6 has admitted he would never have believed in himself if not for Lewis Hamilton.
RAFAEL Nadal has accused his fellow tennis players of being pathetically bad at playing on clay.
A KEEN runner has replaced the framed photo of her husband and children on her desk with a print-out of her latest Strava route.
GUNNERSAURUS is struggling to complete his application for universal credit after being sacked by Arsenal yesterday.
MANCHESTER UNITED have moved to strengthen their defence by swapping Harry Maguire for an arthritic garden gnome with a glass eye.