Alcohol

BRITAIN is still the best country in the world for consuming lager and gravy, with the average adult putting away eight pints of each per week.

A MAN who has given up drinking has been confronted with the risks and ramifications of his decision in a dramatic intervention by his friends.

A MAN’s decision to get wasted in a pub was in no way influenced by a witty chalkboard message inviting him to come inside.

A MAN who confidently told friends he was sticking to soft drinks caved after a pathetically short period of time.

A MAN who has lined up some bottles of spirits in his kitchen thinks he is like a famous debauched singer from the 50s.

THIS week the UK faced the ultimate nightmare scenario - a beer shortage. So how can you survive without the precious, life-giving alcohol drink? Read our guide.

PEOPLE get drunk every day, but some of them are posh and so their piss-up sessions are thrilling, aspirational and news. But are you one of them?

YOU drank too much last night. That goes without saying. But was that the sun coming up you remember, or was that radiance the eternal inferno of the underworld? Take our test to find out…

LIKE every passenger on that plane, I would rather be flown by a male pilot so drunk he was slurring obscenities and punching out at thin air than by a woman.

A GROUP of Prosecco drinkers and a group of Frosty Jack drinkers have deeply resented each others' presence in a public park.