Alcohol

A MAN foolishly asked his parents who rarely drink alcohol to buy a bottle of wine after forgetting they would fuck it up.

IF you drink too much it’s vital to convince yourself you just enjoy a harmless regular tipple. Here’s how to delude yourself.

DID you drink so much last night you feel like you’re going to drown in a black swamp of alcohol-induced guilt and shame? Here’s how to get through it.

EVERYONE knows drinking wine under 11 per cent is a waste of time. Here are five great wines to try, but if there’s a bottle of Calpol knocking around you should probably go for that instead.

TRY these handy methods of getting red wine stains out of your soft furnishings while simultaneously sobbing because you know they won’t work.

A MAN who has been off the booze since the early hours of 1st January is baffled as to why he is still overweight.

BRITAIN’S pubs will have a section of the bar reserved for people who know what they are doing this Christmas.

AN office worker with a gin advent calendar is knocking back the contents at 9am every day, colleagues have confirmed.

A WOMAN has decided she can be legitimately drunk from now until January by claiming she is simply getting into the festive spirit.

A WINE shop that is stockpiling as much as booze as possible has been praised for its deep understanding of Britain.