Alcohol

THE landlords of a regional pub clearly aspire to run a trendy London gastropub but cannot quite get it right, regulars have agreed.

A MAN given a glass of white wine at 1pm has been left with no choice but to continue drinking until nightfall.

A WOMAN who spends all her spare time getting sh*tfaced with her mates is struggling to make it sound like a respectable extracurricular interest.

A WOMAN was shocked to find she actually enjoys the taste of a craft beer IPA, she has confirmed.

A MAN who woke up at 8am on Sunday in a garden littered with empty beer cans has claimed he just ‘enjoyed the lovely weather’.

THE UK has demanded that confirmation that Boris Johnson will be prime minister be delayed to around 1.30am on Saturday.

A 30-YEAR-OLD man totally messed up a pleasant evening in the pub by buying tequila slammers, it has emerged.

A MAN who only drinks craft beer is suffering from a hangover he considers superior to one caused by mass-produced beer.

A WIFE who keeps agreeing to share a whole bottle of wine with her husband has only had one glass again, it has been confirmed.

MEN believe that drinking beer at any time of day is harmless so long as it is carried out within an airport departure lounge.