Alcohol

EVERYONE who gets pissed on a couple of drinks is continuing to insist it was because they had not had a proper meal that day.

A WOMAN has ordered a glass of Shiraz as she prefers its name to other wines.

ARE you feeling sh*t this morning after overdoing the booze all weekend? Here’s how to get through the terrifying day ahead. 

SO-CALLED wine experts are misleading the public about the basic function of wine, critics have claimed.

A CONTROVERSIAL new study suggests that leading a rich and full life might not necessarily involve getting sh*tfaced as often as possible.

A WOMAN who said she had better not have a large glass of wine was quite happy to get hammered on a sh*tload of small ones.

A MAN has complained about his inability to lose weight, midway through his 15th pint of the week.

HAVE you started having alcohol-free nights for the sake of your health and waistline? Here’s how to make it through these grim evenings from Hell. 

A GROUP of lads are flying to Ibiza so late that they are lining up at the bar and sinking pints at a perfectly acceptable hour to do so.

BLOKE scientists have advised men to drink at least three extra pints of beer a day to avoid dehydration during the current hot weather.