Alcohol

THE Queen is frantically texting friends, family and courtiers to find out what the hell she got up to while blackout drunk last night.

AN afternoon drinking session has descended into a group of middle-aged men each privately trying to manage their terrible heartburn.

It’s easy to look at the negative effects of alcohol, but what are the benefits? Read our guide. 

SHOPPERS across the UK are rushing to save their nearest branch of Bargain Booze by getting absolutely hammered.

ARE you just having a bit of a relaxed morning in the office, or have you inadvertently rolled into work blind drunk? Take our quiz to find out.

THE closure of a much-loved East End pub to make way for an ironic replica of itself has been greeted with widespread protests.

A COUPLE’S evening out at a nightclub was ruined because they could not buy a drink without thinking what the same money would buy at Asda.

A NEW campaign encouraging Britons to spend every night of the week getting hammered also advises them to enjoy alcohol responsibly.

PARTICIPANTS in Dry January have confirmed that the end of the month has been moved forward from next week until 5pm tonight.

A GROUP of male Guardian readers have been wracked with guilt after realising their evening in the pub was a sexist, men-only event.