Arts & Entertainment

Harry Potter Saga 'All A Dream' Says Rowling

HARRY Potter author JK Rowling has revealed that the last sentence of the final volume in the seven book series will be "and then I woke up and it had all been a dream".

Posh's Breasts Join Church Of Scientology

VICTORIA Beckham's breasts have become Scientologists as part of a daring strategy to carve out an independent life for themselves in Los Angeles.  

Wogan To Host BBC Snitch-Athon

SIR Terry Wogan and Gaby Roslin are to host a massive ‘snitch-athon’  to encourage the general public to inform on their friends, neighbours and colleagues.

Greedy Women To Sing Old Songs

THE Spice Girls are re-uniting to take their glittering “Avarice” show on tour citing a deep love of money as the driving force that brought them back together.

Bush Gives Blair Lead Role In Jug Band

TONY Blair and George Bush are set to invade the music charts after forming a hillbilly jug band.

'Manhunt 2' Producers Launch Glastonbury Version

CENSORS have welcomed a new version of the controversial game Manhunt in which players rampage through Glastonbury wiping out solicitors pretending to be hippies for the weekend.

Baggins Family Pans 'Lord Of The Rings' Musical

THE great nephew of Frodo Baggins has attacked the Lord of the Rings musical for 'playing fast and loose' with historical accuracy.

Chris Martin To Write Song About Tits

COLDPLAY frontman Chris Martin has delighted his army of fans by confirming he is to write a song all about tits.

Rowling To Write Eighth Harry Potter Book After All

JK ROWLING has revealed she is to write an eighth Harry Potter book after all, although the best selling author says she is through with “all that fantasy pish”.

Channel 4 To Show Queen Mother Eating A Gigantic Sausage

CHANNEL 4 is to follow up its controversial Diana documentary with footage of the Queen Mother eating an absolutely gigantic sausage.