Arts & Entertainment

Wolfenstein 'encourages kids to shoot Nazis'

PARENTS are worried that a new computer game where players battle Nazis could encourage anti-Nazi attitudes.

Humans closer to ultimate sedentary experience

THE growing popularity of watching other people play computer games is a step forward for zero-effort entertainment, experts believe.

Next four episodes of 24 take place in a bus queue

JACK Bauer will mostly be trying to get a bus during next month's episodes of 24.

Forced viewings of Frozen begin

UK CITIZENS who have not seen Disney animation Frozen are to be forced to watch it or face imprisonment.

H.R. Giger 'created cinema's only non-shit alien'

SWISS artist H.R. Giger, who died this week, created the only alien in cinema history that is not a bit shit.

X-Men movies finally as incomprehensible as the comics

THE seventh X-Men film is as bewildering and nonsensical as its source material, it has been confirmed.

American boy claims heaven has guns

A FOUR-YEAR-OLD American boy who claims to have visited heaven has confirmed that everyone there was heavily armed.

Dealers prepare bad acid for Glastonbury Metallica set

MORE than 400,000 hits of acid, guaranteed to send people spiralling into the abyss, are being prepared for Metallica's performance at Glastonbury.

BBC says 'f*ck it' and replaces Patten with the Skull Cracker

THE new chairman of the BBC is a violent criminal known as the ‘Skull Cracker’.

94 per cent of DJs called Lee

NEARLY all DJs are called Lee, it has emerged.