Arts & Entertainment

JOHN Lewis has begun the annual process of turning a much-loved song into an insipid mess in time for Christmas.

GOOD new music is going unheralded because nobody will admit to watching Later…with Jools Holland, it has emerged.

A 40-YEAR-OLD man has taken a paperback book with him to a rave.

A ROCKY Horror Show fan is actually disgusted by the lifestyles it depicts, he has revealed.

THE crowd at a ‘prog rock’ gig had no idea when to applaud as they could never be sure the song had finished.

LEICESTER has been named as next year’s UK anti-arts city.

EDINBURGH residents have been told they can return safely to the city without being performed at.

INDIE legends The Smiths have admitted they will eventually play a series of hate-filled reunion gigs.

A FORMER 007 has claimed that Jeremy Corbyn does not have what it takes to fight the evil forces of SMERSH.

BENEDICT Cumberbatch’s mother last night praised her son’s Hamlet saying it was ‘a million times better than that shit he did Star Trek’.