Arts & Entertainment

Bono Defends Poor While Bathing At £3000 A Night Hotel

SPEAKING from the sunken bath of his four room suite in Cannes, U2 frontman Bono has condemned the West for failing to eradicate Third World poverty.

Moss Sells Rubbish To Punters

KATE Moss last night declared her garage sale a roaring success after thousands of punters flocked to buy the model’s unwanted clothes and bric-a-brac. 

Record Companies Call For Ban On Whistling

THE world's leading record companies have joined forces to call for a ban on whistling, claiming it is an infringement of copyright. 

Halfwits To Be Banned From Using The Phone

HALFWITS, cretins and morons are to be denied access to the telephone system as part of a government crackdown on TV quizzes.

GMTV Viewers Lose Billions Of Braincells

BREAKFAST television viewers have unwittingly lost billions of brain cells in the last four years by watching early morning shows, a Daily Mash investigation can reveal.