Arts & Entertainment

Freak Show Forced To Defend Footage Of Freak

ITV freak show Britain Must Be Stopped last night defended its decision to show footage of an insane, dancing freak.

Ofcom Launches Nipple Probe

OFCOM, the broadcasting watchdog, is to launch a full-scale inquiry into televised nipples, it emerged last night.

Critics Pay Tribute To World’s Greatest Drama Set On A Battlestar

BATTLESTAR Galactica was last night hailed as the most intelligent and thoughtful drama ever to be set on a battlestar.

Match Of The Day Goes To Its Dark Place

MATCH of the Day has gone to its dark place and has urged viewers not to follow.

Fears Grow That Red Riding May Have Been Shit

FEARS were growing last night that the landmark television series Red Riding may have been a lot of shit.

Britney May As Well Be A Corpse Puppet, Say Fans

BRITNEY Spears kicked off her first major tour in five years with a larynx-free performance that was no better than a dancing corpse puppet, angry fans said last night.

University Challenge Contestant May Not Have Been Worthless Layabout

THE BBC has launched an inquiry after claims a member of the winning team on University Challenge may not have been a lazy, self-indulgent ponce.

Music To Stay Exactly The Same Forever

POPULAR music is to remain precisely as it is for ever and ever after Oasis were named best band at last night's NME awards.

Cameron To Double-Check Ages Of All Artists Named By Prime Minister

TORY leader David Cameron last night vowed to double-check the ages of all artists mentioned in speeches by the prime minister.

Michael Sheen To Play Red Rum

TONY Blair actor Michael Sheen is to extend his repertoire of real-life characters by playing Red Rum in a BBC mini-series.