Arts & Entertainment

BBC To Screen Gaza Appeal If It Includes Phone-In Scam

THE BBC has agreed to air a charity appeal for the stricken people of Gaza, as long as they can include a fraudulent phone-in contest, it emerged last night.

Stan Lee Creates First Gay Superhero Since Batman

MARVEL Comics legend Stan Lee is to unveil the world's first homosexual superhero since Batman.

BBC Hails New Doctor Who As Much Cheaper

THE BBC last night hailed new Doctor Who Matt Smith as one of the cheapest young actors of his generation.

Song Everyone Pretends To Understand Is Christmas Number One

THE incredibly moving song that everyone pretends to understand has topped the Christmas pop charts.

Sky To Broadcast In Three Dimensions Of Awfulness

SKY is to add an extra dimension of awfulness to its television output with the launch of 3D TV, it announced last night.

Blur To Remind Everyone Why They Split Up

BLUR are to remind everyone why they split up at a one-off gig in London next summer.

Cheryl Cole To Watch Children Cry

GIRLS Aloud singer Cheryl Cole is to star in a new ITV prime-time show where she stares at children while they burst into tears.

I'm A Celebrity To Drop Bushtucker Challenge And Just Go With The Titties

ITV show I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is to drop its team challenge rounds so that it can focus on lots of wet tits.

Beatles Made Awful Crap Before Yoko, Reveals Mccartney

SIR Paul McCartney last night revealed the Beatles were churning out drug induced bollocks at least 18 months before John Lennon got together with Yoko Ono.

BBC Presenter Sacked For Not Using A Coaster

THE BBC has sacked a local radio presenter for not using a coaster in her own home.