Arts & Entertainment

BRITNEY Spears kicked off her first major tour in five years with a larynx-free performance that was no better than a dancing corpse puppet, angry fans said last night.

THE BBC has launched an inquiry after claims a member of the winning team on University Challenge may not have been a lazy, self-indulgent ponce.

POPULAR music is to remain precisely as it is for ever and ever after Oasis were named best band at last night's NME awards.

TORY leader David Cameron last night vowed to double-check the ages of all artists mentioned in speeches by the prime minister.

TONY Blair actor Michael Sheen is to extend his repertoire of real-life characters by playing Red Rum in a BBC mini-series.

THE BBC has agreed to air a charity appeal for the stricken people of Gaza, as long as they can include a fraudulent phone-in contest, it emerged last night.

MARVEL Comics legend Stan Lee is to unveil the world's first homosexual superhero since Batman.

THE BBC last night hailed new Doctor Who Matt Smith as one of the cheapest young actors of his generation.

THE incredibly moving song that everyone pretends to understand has topped the Christmas pop charts.

SKY is to add an extra dimension of awfulness to its television output with the launch of 3D TV, it announced last night.