Arts & Entertainment

BRITAIN will become 68% more pleasant as the Edinburgh Fringe draws in the country's pathologically self-absorbed bastards for the next three weeks.

DR WHO producer Russell T Davies has once again reminded the show's ardent fans that it is actually for children.

A NEW reality TV show will follow 10 reality TV producers around for three months to discover what on earth goes on in their minds.

LARS Von Trier's sexually-explicit horror film Antichrist is brilliant and is being attacked by people who probably haven't even seen it, according to a man who hasn't seen it.

THE winner of this year's Mercury Music prize will be be given some money to go away and write an actual tune, it has been confirmed.

EASTENDERS is a gritty, fascinating documentary that has proven invaluable to understanding London life, Boris Johnson said last night.

THE makers of x-rated comedy film Bruno have released a re-cut version with added sexual perversity, just for British MPs.

MILLIONS of grown men and women have turned out to watch the latest film based on some childish drivel about a magic boy.

THE North's contribution to British culture is to be recognised with the installation of a 60ft bronze meat pie in Hyde Park.

TORCHWOOD creator Russell T Davies has reacted angrily to cuts in the series by threatening to turn the BBC's entire TV output into a same-sex inter-galactic love-in.