Arts & Entertainment

ALL amateur performance poets are secondary school teachers with an axe to grind, it has emerged.

A HOUSE has burnt down within a 20 minute walk from a cinema where people can watch Fifty Shades of Grey.

PEOPLE being dragged to see Fifty Shades of Grey are wearing blindfolds so that they can sleep.

THE Walt Disney Company has acquired the rights to feature roguish antiques dealer Lovejoy in its Marvel Avengers franchise.

A NEW British film aimed at teenagers will show the glamorous reality of life as a drug-dealer on a council estate.

AUTHOR Harper Lee has promised that her new book will contain explicit instructions on how to catch and kill mockingbirds.

MOST people who watch period drama Wolf Hall think it is about modern-day mentally ill people who dress in colourful tights.

TWO newly-discovered Michelangelo bronzes of muscular men riding panthers have seen his work embraced by the heavy metal community.

TAKEN 3 audience members have seen no other films apart from Taken and Taken 2, it has emerged.

THE spin-off from hit drama Breaking Bad is a documentary about the flora and fauna of the New Mexico desert, its producers have revealed.