Arts & Entertainment

SINCE the dawn of Channel 4, man has flicked over to arthouse cinema because it was 11.45pm and it might have shagging in. These films let you down.

BONFIRE night should be tacky, loud and fun. Here's how to ruin it with your tedious middle-class ways.

AFTER listening to their new album, fans have confirmed that greatest hits album Abba Gold is still the highlight of the band’s discography.

DO you spend all your time sitting on the sofa, eating crisps and saying 'I could do that?'. Here are some shows you'd make an utter twat of yourself on.  

A FOLLOW-UP to the new John Lewis ad will show a trusting young boy screaming as millions of invasive alien eggs hatch from his body on Christmas Day.

STEALING from the rich and giving to the poor is all very well, but it makes for long nights in Sherwood Forest with a moralistic braggart. And these f**kers wouldn’t be any fun either.

A MAN who claims to hate Doctor Who is going to spend the evening watching every second of it.

IF the first record you bought was the Undertones you still probably show off about it. But it wasn’t. It was one of these horrors you prefer to keep quiet about.

HAVE you wasted precious time and money watching films that were not great, only to be insulted by an idiotic cliched ending? Here are some that need to stop.

LIVERPOOL is to get £2 million to set up yet another Beatles attraction. Here’s why the city should move on from this obscure, rarely-discussed band.