Food

A WOMAN is always standing directly in front of whatever kitchen drawer her partner needs to open.

DOES your neighbourhood have a hipster food market or a crappy old-school one? Find out with our quiz.

YOU’RE at an event and there’s a buffet. How can you beat everyone else to hog the best stuff? Use these tactics.

JACOB Rees-Mogg has informed his wife and six children that shortages mean their Christmas feast will be a mere 12-bird roast instead of the usual 17.

A WOMAN who eats complete shit all the time is baffled as to why her skin is in such a state.

FEEL like treating yourself this lunchtime? Reckon you’ll give that new place a go? Don’t waste your time because no gourmet meal can beat a sausage roll.

HOW better to rehabilitate vile disgusting stuff than giving it a lovely wholesome name? Here’s five examples that should be put to sleep.

BLUEBERRIES, the small posh fruit that claims to be an antioxidant superfood, have huge egos and a superiority complex, scientists have agreed.

IN DECADES past, loving parents dished up these foodstuffs to their children and somehow they survived. You’d never give this shit to your own kids.

ONCE upon a time, pepper was pepper. Then gastropubs got their hands on it and now it’s cracked black pepper. Here's some other things they've buggered up.