Food

THE dish pubs call ‘Dirty Fries’ is just normal fries that were dropped in the kitchen, it has emerged.

ANYTHING baked by small children is largely composed of human saliva and other bodily secretions, test results have confirmed.

YOU'VE smoked a couple of joints and now your stomach feels like your throat's been cut. Here's how to dine like a king when you're buzzed off your tits.

DESPITE the existence of supermarkets and Deliveroo, some older people still claim to like foodstuffs that were surely a result of wartime food shortages. Why not try these tasty treats?

COOKING can be fun and relaxing unless you’ve chosen fiddly as f**k ingredients. These five aren't worth the hassle.

ONCE you're over 18 you're embarrassed to be seen buying certain foods. These are the most shameful:

IS a meal out with your elderly parents looming? Here’s how they’ll take all the fun out of it.

SOME children are so middle-class they have never tasted Flamin’ Hot Monster Munch. Francesca Johnson counts down their top six cruel, deceptive treats.

DINING out? Caught off-guard by a waiter? These panic orders will stop you looking like a blithering idiot who’s been chatting rather than reading the menu.

HOSPITALITY staff across the country are thrilled be back to work, until you come in. Because you do things that make waitstaff focus very hard on not reaching for the knife.