Food

LAST YEAR, I was a wreck. Overweight, ugly, deeply in debt, trapped in an unhappy marriage and playing Russian roulette every Saturday night just to feel alive.

STRUGGLING to feed your family in these difficult times? Luckily consumer expert and posh shopper Susan Traherne is here to help with some detached-from-reality tips.

EU COUNTRIES are hostile enemies of Britain, so you need British subsitutes for your favourite Italian meals. Try these.

MARMITE is attempting to cross-pollinate with every other item on supermarket shelves to become the only product available, scientists fear.

IT’S another dispiriting working week, but don’t just shove a ready meal down and watch telly. These deceptively simple recipes will swallow the whole evening.

DO you enjoy being a martyr about eating vegetables? Here are five of the most disgusting varieties to consume because you have a masochistic streak a mile wide.

MACARONI cheese is not gourmet food that should be served at restaurants but a last resort meal that comes from a can at the back of a cupboard.

A MAN’S dinner tasted like shit after he decided to improve the recipe by throwing in random ingredients.

A PIZZA delivery man has finally quit his job after not having sex with a single customer during his decade-long career.

MIDDLE-CLASS families facing a hit to their finances will get vouchers for Charlie Bigham pies in order to help them through the summer.