Food

IT’S another dispiriting working week, but don’t just shove a ready meal down and watch telly. These deceptively simple recipes will swallow the whole evening.

DO you enjoy being a martyr about eating vegetables? Here are five of the most disgusting varieties to consume because you have a masochistic streak a mile wide.

MACARONI cheese is not gourmet food that should be served at restaurants but a last resort meal that comes from a can at the back of a cupboard.

A MAN’S dinner tasted like shit after he decided to improve the recipe by throwing in random ingredients.

A PIZZA delivery man has finally quit his job after not having sex with a single customer during his decade-long career.

MIDDLE-CLASS families facing a hit to their finances will get vouchers for Charlie Bigham pies in order to help them through the summer.

A TUB of Lurpak in a family fridge has almost reached the stage of being officially half-butter, half-toast crumbs, it has emerged.

EXPERTS have confirmed that eating cake for breakfast is absolutely fine and should be encouraged.

THE government has misled, hidden the facts and flat-out lied to Britain. Worse, they have refused to explain what the f**k has happened to Frosties.

AN obnoxious middle-class mother has asserted that her five-year-old has never had sugar and would not like it if he did.