Woman realises her 'posh' friends are just normal people who like olives

A WOMAN has been under the delusion she was friends with an upper middle-class couple only to discover they just like eating olives.

Stop this 'small plates' bullsh*t, restaurants told

SMALL plates should never have been allowed and must stop now, restaurants have been told.

Men sick of having to order steaks rare to not look girly

BRITAIN’S men are feeling oppressed by having to order steaks with loads of blood in order to look manly.

Dad asks daughter who's been vegetarian for 15 years if she's still not eating meat

A MAN has asked his daughter, who has been a vegetarian since she was 15 and is now 30, if she is “still not eating meat”.

Exorcism casts vegan cheese straight back to hell

VEGAN cheese has been cast back into the hell from which it was spawned from, exorcists have confirmed.

Babies demand remote control-flavoured baby food

BABIES have demanded food that tastes as delicious as the TV remote controls they love to stuff into their mouths.

Of course we want the dessert menu, says anyone in right mind

RESTAURANT customers have told waiters not to waste their time asking if they would like to see the dessert menu because the answer is always yes.

Your guide to doing a drunk supermarket shop

DO you sometimes go to the supermarket under the influence of too much alcohol? Here’s how to successfully shop while shitfaced:

Little food better than big food

MINIATURE versions of normally larger food items are superior in every way, consumers have confirmed.

How to have a pointlessly pretentious and expensive barbecue

WANT to spunk a load of money up the wall on fancy venison steaks just to char them to inedibility? Follow this guide: