Food

A FOUR-YEAR-OLD has baked cookies that everybody is doing their level best to not actually eat, they have confirmed.

GREGGS have confirmed that there has not been any meat or animal products in their steak bakes since 2005.

SCIENTISTS have announced the discovery of a fourth takeaway option that is neither Chinese, Indian and pizza.

NOW KFC, Greggs and Burger King all sell plant-based products, vegans are at risk of not being as special. Here’s how to stay strong.

THE county of Rutland is the last in the UK to get a McDonald’s, but are its residents ready? Fit in with this guide to the New World fine dining experience.

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has announced she is to step back as senior meal-preparer from her family because she can no longer be ars*d.

A MAN taking part in Veganuary is doing it entirely from Greggs’ vegan range, he has confirmed.

A MAN in his late 30s still either overestimates or underestimates how much milk his cereal will need every single morning, he has confirmed.

A WOMAN who claims eating condensed soy milk is ‘unnatural’ finds tubes of compressed lips, eyelids and sphincters delightful.

A MAN whose toaster has broken has admitted that he now has no idea what to base meals around.