Food

Newly-vegan student home for Christmas lasts three days before eating sausage sandwich

AN 18-YEAR-OLD who turned vegan in his first term of university has managed three whole days at home before eating sausages.

Fancy man eats vegetables

A FANCY man eats vegetables for lunch, it has emerged.

Fancy bread doesn't even fit in toaster

A LOAF of artisanal no-knead sourdough bread is too fancy to fit in a toaster, it has been confirmed.

Yorkshire cream tea is white bread, margarine and long-life milk

THE Yorkshire Tourist Board is promoting a cream tea consisting of white bread spread with Stork and served with a jug of long-life milk.

Bread has f*cking raisins in it

A SLICED, wholemeal loaf of bread contains f*cking raisins, it has been confirmed.

Middle-class couple interviewing turkeys

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are interviewing a shortlist of six turkeys to decide which one will grace their Christmas table.

Mum's life ruined after she forgets to order school dinners

A MUM’S life is in tatters after she was forced to make her kids packed lunches for an entire week.

Middle class parents horribly smug about their kid liking olives

A MIDDLE class mum and dad are nauseatingly proud of the fact that their two-year-old likes the taste of olives.

Big pot of home-made soup knows half of it is going in the bin

A LARGE pot of 'delicious' home-made soup knows at least 50 per cent of it is getting chucked.

Woman makes her own hummus for some reason

A WOMAN spent hours preparing her own hummus only to discover it was not even as good as the one from Aldi.