May rules out TV debate because her voters only like the wireless

THERESA May has ruled out a TV debate because the voters she wants to reach have the wireless on with their cup of tea.

May confident Britain’s rabid, insane press will never turn on her

THE prime minister remains secure in her belief that Britain’s frothing, maniacal tabloids will always be on her side, no matter what.

Guardian editor spotted at Guardian Masterclass on making money from journalism

THE editor of the Guardian has attended a Guardian-run 'masterclass' explaining how to make money from journalism.

It’s just a bit of fun, says soulless, hate-filled editor of Daily Mail

DAILY Mail editor Paul Dacre insisted his ‘legs-it’ front page was ‘a bit of fun’ in a voice that made everyone think of a derelict Victorian hospital.

Unfunny Facebook comment 'liked' out of years of friendship

A MAN has been forced to 'like' an unfunny comment left on his Facebook page out of years of friendship.

Daily Mail scurrying about like a horrid little spider

THE DAILY Mail is scurrying around like a spider trying to get up society's trouser leg, it has emerged.

Evening Standard to be paper for busy Londoners who love coke, says Osborne

THE London Evening Standard will feature an indispensable weekly guide to crazy parties where all kinds of stuff goes on.

Media begin search for new far right nutter to turn into a household name

THE UK media are actively seeking  a new braying, right wing idiot to feature over-prominently in news and current affairs programmes.

Guardian reveals how to cook the perfect meth

THE Guardian has published a guide to cooking quick, but delicious crystal meth for a casual Friday night get-together.

Unhealthiest nation in Europe encouraged to watch more telly

THE BBC is to intensify its war on Scotland by giving Europe’s unhealthiest population more television to watch.