Telegraph reader demands story about cleaner mistaking modern art for rubbish

A 78-YEAR-OLD Telegraph reader has demanded it prints a story about how a gallery cleaner swept up some modern art because it looked like rubbish.

Cover ritually pulled off Christmas Radio Times

THE Christmas Radio Times has been bought and its cover immediately removed in accordance with Yuletide tradition.

Daily Mail flood appeal to help houses but not people

THE Daily Mail has launched an appeal to restore flood-damaged houses to their former market value.

Isis pays Daily Mail and Sun for ‘strategic PR services’

ISIS has paid the Daily Mail and the Sun five figure sums for ‘strategic public relations and reputation management’.

Daily Mail exactly the same in parallel universe where Nazis won

THE Daily Mail in an alternate universe where Hitler won the war is absolutely identical, it has been confirmed.

BBC condemned for hiring part-time overnight cleaner who didn’t wear poppy

THE BBC is facing a storm of criticism for employing an overnight cleaner who did not wear a poppy.

Daily Mail sent chocolate mosque with note saying ‘bite me’

THE Daily Mail has taken delivery of an elaborate chocolate mosque accompanied by an angry note.

Guardian article comparing Syria crisis to leaving London ‘in the works’

SOMEONE is writing a Guardian article about how leaving London to live in Bristol is like fleeing Syria, it has been confirmed.

BBC ordered to refer to Terminator as T-800

THE government has told the BBC not to prejudice the public by referring to the T-800 as the Terminator.

New lifestyle magazine aimed at men who shun material possessions

NEW magazine Men’s Ascetic is focused on the niche market of men who reject worldly goods and pleasures for a more spiritual path.