Relationships

WORRIED your sex life has shrivelled and died whilst everyone else is at it hammer-and tongs? Here’s how to measure your sexual activity against the national average.

A COUPLE’S home has photographs of them together literally everywhere you look, friends have confirmed.

A NEW DATING app has launched to connect people who have massive, stupid holes in their ears.

DO your relationships keep ending badly? It could be because you’re a fucking nightmare to go out with. Take our test and find out.

DO you want to engage in passionate lovemaking but can’t help describing it in a really naff way? Here’s how to kill any chance of sexual activity.

ARE you back on the dating scene but still madly in love with your ex? Here’s how to keep their memory alive while you play the field.

A MAN’S girlfriend is putting on airs and graces about bed linen that hardly smells at all, he has revealed.

A COUPLE are only keeping up the pretence of a happy relationship to avoid disappointing their friends, they have revealed.

A BUSY couple who put a date in their diary to ensure they have sex are becoming increasingly panicked as it draws closer.

A WOMAN who receives unsolicited pictures of penises has discovered that the men who send them do not seem to appreciate her feedback.