Relationships

Student suddenly realises all his housemates are dicks

A FIRST-YEAR student has suddenly realised, mid-term, that everyone he lives with is a total and utter dick.

Man doesn’t realise first date was secret panel interview

A MAN does not realise that everything he said on a first date was vetted via text message by a select panel of his date’s friends.

It's too late to plan a romantic Valentine's Day so you've fucked up, say experts

IF you have not yet planned Valentine’s Day for your loved one, you have already fucked up and they will know it, experts have confirmed.

Couple sure insanely expensive wedding will make them fancy each other

A COUPLE in the final stages of planning a wedding believe it will finally make them attracted to each other.

Man who thinks girlfriend should make an effort wearing same t-shirt since he was 14

A MAN who thinks his girlfriend should try a bit harder with her appearance has been wearing the same dreadful T-shirt since he was a teenager.

Twenty-something couple decide to f**k everything up by getting a puppy

A COUPLE have decided to ruin their home, the best years of their youth and ultimately their relationship by getting a dog.

Woman who 'doesn't do gossip' will never be invited for drinks again

A WOMAN who told her friends she ‘doesn’t do gossip’ will not be invited for drinks again, it has been confirmed.

Quiz: Are you shit in bed?

ARE you a rampant stallion in the bedroom, the envy of your neighbours, or has no partner ever found the courage to tell you you’re completely shit?

Woman who’s never met ex’s new girlfriend knows enough about her to fill-in detailed medical forms

A WOMAN who has never met her ex’s new partner has managed to accumulate an entire file of detailed information on her.

Couple brought together by shit sense of humour

A COUPLE enjoy a very successful relationship thanks to sharing the same dreadful sense of humour, they have revealed.