Relationships

SEX is great but in a long-term relationship it often feels like a lot of hassle. Here are some excellent reasons not to do it.

A COUPLE who spend all their free time together enjoying the same things have ‘something wrong with them’, according to friends.

A MAN has admitted he has been using his wife’s expensive shampoo to wash his balls for a while now.

A MAN still asks his older sister loaded questions about her friend Jenny who snogged him for a laugh 30 years ago.

A COUPLE have separately decided to lower their standards for the ideal partner all the way to marriage, they have confirmed.

A MUSEUM dedicated to double entendres, saucy remarks and leering at birds through windows is to open in Leeds this summer.

A MAN was trapped in his house for three days while his wife told him about a thing that happened to her at work, it has emerged.

A WOMAN is deeply disappointed in her boyfriend for not treating a ghost tour in London with the seriousness it deserved.

A FATHER has light-heartedly told his family that the whole fucking lot of them can fuck off only for it to be taken the wrong way.

A MAN can only become emotionally intelligent while listening to Bruce Springsteen songs, his partner has discovered.