Society
A FATHER has convinced his young son that a Wetherspoon pub is the home of Santa and his elves.
THE relatives that arrive this weekend have issued their first tranche of impossible-to-meet demands, with more to follow.
A WICKER basket containing some biscuits and tea bags is apparently a fabulous Victorian-style Christmas hamper, it has been confirmed.
A PENSIONER will have nothing to occupy his twilight years if the hard Brexit that fills his days is taken away from him, say his worried relatives.
MOST men will happily drink a vile coffee if it was made by an attractive woman, scientists have confirmed.
BRITAIN’S children are in no way prepared for what they will find in their parents’ bedrooms while looking for their Christmas presents, it has been confirmed.
STUDENTS returning home for Christmas may have become pretentious twats with silly clothes and provocative beliefs, universities have warned.
SIMPLY throwing all Christmas cards into the bin unopened could save you up to four hours this Christmas, it has been claimed.
A GANG of six-year-old atheists is plotting to sabotage a school nativity play with a foul-mouthed attack on religion.
A CAT has been left humiliated after he defecated in his owner’s garden but was unable to bury it.