Society

BURNING Guy Fawkes on your bonfire is so 1600s, but which of 2017’s many hate figures should you burn instead?

A FAMILY from the south-east have swapped places with a family from Sheffield for a week in the BBC’s new twist on the survival TV formula.

LYING to friends and colleagues by claiming your commute is 20 minutes shorter than it is means you are lying to yourself, experts have confirmed.

BRITONS are to be held responsible for all their drunken boasts and failure to do so will result in criminal charges.

A FANCY car bought on finance is totally unrepresentative of the rest of its owner’s fairly crap life, it has emerged.

AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD has woken up in a tattered skeleton outfit surrounded by Swizzels wrappers with a vague memory of being sick in a jack-o’-lantern.

A LONG-TERM gilet wearer has admitted that his arms are often very cold.

JESUS has condemned scary things, despite being nailed to some wood and wearing a crown of thorns.

THE Guardian is deeply confused by a man who does not want to study at 'Oxbridge', it has confirmed.

LITTLE SHITS in your area will be hosting free public fireworks displays this week, they have confirmed.