Society

A MAN has taken down capitalism by adding an expensive smoothie to his Boots Meal Deal, it has been confirmed.

A FATHER has switched on his mobile phone and then immediately switched it off again ‘to save the battery’, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have recognised that their conversation is now mainly about what to eat for their tea.

A WOMAN is certain that a radical new hair colour will solve all her problems, it has emerged.

A MAN who believes in total gender equality takes every available opportunity to mention it.

LONDON estate agents can see no reason why depressing bedsits in Clapham are not meeting their £1m valuations. 

THE last person to still use two spaces after a full stop has died, it has been confirmed.

A BORDER terrier has been chosen to head up a street’s Neighbourhood Watch committee.

NO-ONE is quite sure what a middle-aged man plans to do with the dozens of plastic tubs he has been saving from Indian takeaways.

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has received her seventh Mother’s Day card in a row based on the theme of  'handprints'.